Emotional support from family and friends –
including boss
Practical support by creating to-do lists
Physical support, I will ask for help and receiving
it is another story, I don’t always receive help.
I can currently identify a challenge that I’m facing
at the moment, well, have been facing since April. As a teacher I have shared my concerns with
my boss/supervisor about a child’s aggressive behavior within the
classroom. I would share what the child was
doing towards the other children and at times towards the teachers. I wrote up a contacts sheet that describes
the child’s challenging behavior and the techniques used by the teachers to
help support the child. The
boss/supervisor looks it over and signs it and makes a copy for our Mental
Health Consultant. Then I speak with the
parents about having the Mental Health Consultant do an observation on the
child. The parents sign a form and the
MHC sets up a time to conduct the observation.
After the observation, recommends suggestions for the teachers to try
with the child to support this challenging time. As the teachers continue to work with this
child, they continue to share their concerns with the supervisor, but nothing
changes. Then the supervisor decides to
set up a support conference with the parents to brainstorm a support system for
the child. The parents only are
encouraged to set up an appointment with Early Intervention for an
assessment. Still there are no
consequences regarding the child’s actions within the classroom and the
teachers continue to support the child the best way they can. The child ends up being sick during the time
of his assessment so now it’s back to square one.
I would want support emotionally to know that
everything I have been doing to help this child, is truly helping one small
step at a time. I want my feelings to be
considered and respected, not pushed to the side and feel offended been my
supervisor and administrators.
I would want support practically, to know what new
techniques, and current ones are working for the child and with his teachers to
help him overcome the challenges within his life at the moment. I want to be shown and given new ways to
support the child and the family with this challenge happening, supposedly just
at school. I want to be offered to take
new training's that support challenging behaviors and how to support them in the
classroom environment.
The factors that support me are speaking with my
team members at my frustration level regarding the handling from the supervisor
and administrators with the concerns from the teachers to get this child the
help he needs to control his aggressive behavior. By sharing my feelings with my team members
it helps myself release the frustration and tense from the given situation and
challenge within the classroom. Hearing
their shared feelings and concerns, tell me that they understand the feelings
and emotions of the given situation.
They feel the same way regarding the lack of support from our supervisor
and administrators with the struggles and challenges us teachers are dealing
with. When sharing and getting to
brainstorm techniques and new ways to approach the challenge with new eyes to
help support this challenge the best way we can, with the challenges of change
happening within the child’s family environment. As a professional, I look at different
resources to help find new techniques and ways to help support the child to
decrease the level of his aggressive behavior in the classroom towards the
other children. I try my best to read
articles, about the topic at hand, regarding the challenges the child is
facing. I do my best finding articles
about aggressive behaviors, self-regulation, and finding new ways to show him
how to relax and get control over his body.
Sometimes with all the research and articles, the teaching team, works
together to try new ways of supporting the child regarding the results from the
research on various topics to support this child with his aggressive
behavior. I even speak with some friends
and family members regarding the challenges I face at work and the lack of
support to get this child the help he needs to be successful. It frustrates me that the lack of support in
a professional manner do want to support the efforts of a teacher and their
team to help the child overcome the struggles and challenge within his life at
the moment. It’s just nice to know that
I have others, outside of the situation to take the time to listen, with an
open heart the concerns teachers have about a child going through a rough time
and needs all the help and support he can get.
Having supports within your life helps ease the
roller-coaster of emotions going on within that person regarding the situation
at hand. It makes the situation and
challenge helpful when others are there offering support, guidance, and respect
to make every technique work to the best of their abilities for the child. It makes a day with the child different every
day, always guessing what sort of mood the child will be in to pull out the techniques
that will work regarding the emotional stability of the child. Without these supports I would be going to a
professional counselor or therapist to express my feelings and emotions of the
situation and challenge I’m facing currently in my life. I don’t think I could continue to with
helping the child if I wasn't receiving any help or guidance professionally to
encourage this child to discover ways on his own to control and relax his body,
self-regulation, and understand his own emotions within side of him. I feel that everyone deserves to have a
support system, big or small, regarding life and the struggles any one person
faces at work, with a family, school, and other situations. A support system will help bring everyone
together and be successful.
Wow, Erin, in reading your post I feel your pain. I have been through so many similar situations with children at different age levels, and have gotten support and have gotten pushed aside. It makes such a difference if someone understands what you are going through and are trying to accomplish, even if changes are minimal or not noticed at all.
ReplyDeleteOne sad situation involved a child who was eventually expelled from the school because of other parent's pressure. Although my director was trying her best to facilitate methods to keep the class safe, many parents did not want to wait out the process and threatened to pull their children from the program. The director had no choice but to expel the child (only 3 years old!!). I hope the child was placed somewhere he got help; the bigger the child the bigger the problem.
One of the reasons I love where I work now is because expelling a child to be someone else's problem is not a choice. Parents whose children are victims and the victims themselves are counseled on how to react to the child's behavior, and also taught a little about how not to provoke him. In our current case, the disruptive child's parents are not following through with suggestions made at conferences, so there is no other choice but to attack the problem from the other side--the recipients of the aggressive behavior. I explained to one parent recently, whose child came home with a bruise on his forehead from this child hitting him with a block--"All our lives we will encounter bullies, even as adults. Better to understand how to deal with them now for our own protection all through life. Removing the bully does not get rid of him, it just puts him somewhere else, and a new one will come along."
Good luck with your situation; I support you!
Erin,
ReplyDeleteWe have been facing a similar situation at our center although the circumstances are very different. We started a new child who from the day she ran through the gate had red flag behaviors. We observed for about 3 weeks before calling the mom in to talk about referrals for assessment. Mom agreed and we had an onsite assessment done. The therapist agreed that are seeing some very autistic behaviors and she was referred for a complete evaluation.
The following week, mom came into my office in tears, they had found a lump in her breast. Long and the short of it, mom has stage 4 breast cancer that has spread to her lymph nodes and possibly some other areas. Dad is not very helpful and we have one of our teachers transporting the little girl to school for them each morning in an attempt to help out. I have also offered to get the child to and from OT appointments and over for the observation but her needs have taken a back seat to the cancer treatment.
While I fully understand that Mom's health has to come first - I feel so bad that this crucial time for early intervention is passing by. Thankfully we have the child one more year before kindergarten, so I am praying we can get some intervention going.
I hope and pray that you begin to get more support from your school's administration. It is in the child's best interest as well as your staff's to get the ball rolling with his parents!
Hi Erin,
ReplyDeleteI can completely understand where you are coming from with the difficult child! I had a similar situation, but it was my supervisor that didn't want to help. Her favorite teacher was in the room with me and the child we were having problems with. Because of this, the director thought that it wasn't a problem. She didn't support us at all. It was very difficult. Our Emotional Support counselor tried to help as much as possible, but when you have an unwilling party it makes it difficult. Now that I have left, I heard that the director now sees the issue and still won't help, but will sit in the classroom. It's hard.