Conflicts and Nonviolent Communication

At my early childhood setting, I was dealing with a child who exhibited challenging behavior. This child was only 2 years old and he would throw toys across the room, hit, push, kick, and bite the other children and teachers. I redirect the child to another area of the room and speak with him in a firm voice, “No Hitting,” “No Biting,” and he would smile and laugh in my face. I would continue to redirect him away from the other children in the classroom and state in a firm voice that his behavior is not acceptable. When he became oral and mouthed toys, I offered him a chew tube for him to chew on instead of the toys. It would help for a short time and I would try to sit with him during this time and read a story. I even speak with his mom on many occasions about his behavior and would ask if she had noticed any of these behaviors at home.  She would tell me that he does not act like that at home, but on a few occasions has attempted to bite her. I asked her what she would do when he would bite her. She would tell me, “No Biting.” Over time, I continued to work with him on understanding his emotions and model appropriate behaviors when interacting with his peers and teachers. Then I noticed his behavior increased in I continued to implement the same techniques that have been working with him for some time. This time they did not work for him. I spoke with his mom about it and I was able to get her permission for a Mental Health Consultant from Early Intervention come to the program and make an observation. She agreed and the consultant came to observe the child and offered the suggestion to help him overcome his emotional outbursts. I would use these suggestions on top of the techniques I was using to him again. I would offer sensory activities: play dough, goop, paint, finger paint to help him calm his body. I would offer the chew tube when he began to mouth the toys and I would try my best to give him extra hugs and one-on-one time to support his social-emotional development and his self-regulation. One day he threw a toy at another child and the sound it made was like the child broke his head open. It was not the case but loud enough to send the gut instinct through my body. I was shaken to my core at what happen when I was close by towards the children. It took this accident to finally get the support I needed as a teacher and the support needed for the child. My supervisor was well aware of the situation and concerns about this child and it took for an accident to happen to make the child receive the real help he needed. The child when to a different early childhood setting that is known as a Family Day Care Center.

I showed my compassion and patience with this child to offer him the support and guidance he was seeking out at dealing with his emotions. I worked very closely with his mom and ask questions to find out how she handles the situations at home, though I never got her to truly admit he was having these behaviors at home until she made a call to early intervention for him to be assessed. I used my compassion with this family to offer them the best support I could help the child learn ways to deal with his emotional outbursts in different settings. I even respected her responses when I would speak with her regarding the challenging behavior that was increasing over time. The Mom respected my efforts at helping her son overcome his emotional struggles and help him manage them in an appropriate manner. I have a close relationship with this family and I felt through this process that I had it more with the child compared to the mom. I shared my feelings and concerns with her and clearly stated to her the observations I had, feels, needs, and respect about finding solutions to help him deal with his emotions.

What ways would you have handled the child’s emotional outbursts? How would you speak your concerns with your supervisor to truly be heard about the challenges a teacher is facing in the classroom? How would you express your feelings about your concerns being pushed aside and not taken seriously?

Reference:

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/